To Begin
by Wink At J00
Summary: Dedicated to Sevrin. To begin the fight, to start over, sacrifces must be made, and trust will be made unbreakable. A new power will come into those who try in times of Darkness.
1. Default Chapter

HEYYYYY! I'm a happy girl!! Kay let's start! Dammit, no bunnies! They do not bring the plot, they are too cute for a person that LOVES angst!! Heheheh! ^^;; (People: so what brings the plot?) AHHH! I DUNNO! ::gasps and cries:: Wahaha!! nooo, I have no plot! ::sobs:: hehe jk! ^_~  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.  
  
Dedication: For Sevrin, ENJOY!!! ^_~  
lalala  
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Prolouge: To Begin  
  
  
Albus Dumbledore and Severus Snape were discussing a topic that came up ofthen and Severus didn't like. Harry Potter.  
  
"So, Severus, will you do this for me?" Dumbledore asked polietly.  
  
"In bloody hell, I will! Albus, this is me, the oh-so-nasty, greesy, git of-a-teacher, who is hated by everyone, especially Harry Potter! And you want *me* to do *that* for *him*?! Do you know how much trouble that will cause me?! If any Death Eaters find out, it would be the end for me!"  
  
"So you will do it?" Albus smiled noticing the words "find out" as if he accepted.  
  
"Dammit.... Fine! Private Defence Against Dark Arts lessons for the one and only -spoiled- Harry Potter! And what was the reasoning for this, Albus?"   
  
"Well, why don't you ask the boy, himself?"  
  
"What do you mean? It's one month into summer! I can't ask him."  
  
"Well..."  
  
Their conversation continued and they continued on drinking tea. Only Snape had no clue to which where the conversation would lead. Little did they know, at that very moment, Harry Potter was in the need of physical defence as well.  
  
  
Harry was hit with a blow to he stomache from Vernon. He wished he had some muscle to push the large man off of him. A hard smack across his face would deffinatly make a bruise. And a kick to the ribs with the yell "You are not to mock Dudley, or anyone in this house! You'll getworse if you do it again!" With that Vernon walked away.  
  
Harry moaned and thought to himself how stupid Vernon was. Dudley had asked for more food, and Harry snorted quietly, unfortunatly not quiet enough. Harry made his way to his room and fell on his bed with a 'plop'. "Merlin..." he mummbled letting himself finally sleep for the day.  
  
  
A Death Eater meeting was taking place and several followers were on the ground twitching in pain due to the Cruciatius Curse. Snape new better than those stupid Death Eaters, never question Voldemort. He's too impaticient to deal with questions... However the few questions that Voldemort would put up with were good spy information.  
  
"My Lord, I have no doubt in you destroying Harry Potter. What are your plans on it?" Ah he questioned that perfectly! Always reassure the 'Lord' that you beleive in him.  
  
"Ah Severus, you would like to know.. Hmm I suppose I could allow this, for you do, indeed, stay with the boy at Hogwarts." 'Brillient, aren't you. Just figureing this out?' Snape thought as Voldemort continued, "I will tell you only once you have proven absolute loyalty. And you, Severus, have not shown this. Crucico!"  
  
  
Harry snapped open his eyes, his eyes distant, trying to hold on to his vision. But the pain frmo his scar tok all concentration away. Harry lay on his bed, grasping his scar, as if to make the pain ease. this did not happen though. The pain grew...and grew. It was becoming unbearable...and then he blacked out.  
  
Later Harry awoke to almost forget his vision. All he did remmber, however, was that Snape was hit hard with *that* curse. His aunt soon started yelling at him to get breakfast started. 'Dammit,' Harry thought, 'Another day with the Dursleys only beginnning to be started.' He moaned and walked downstair. Ready to face the day, knowing it would pass, and soon he would be at the Burrow with his best friends.   
  
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Short, I know, but it's a prolouge! Please tell me what you think. I will email you to tell you of updates if you request it. If you don't then I won't. Please review!! Sevrin's flying platypi are watching you, Sevrin let them guard me of flames! hehehe! THANKS SEVRIN! ^^;; Hope you've enjoyed!!!! ^_~  
  
Sending me love out with a wink,   
^_~  
love love!  
~Steph 


	2. Chapter One: Was it Just a Dream?

Hey everyone! Back again! Happy da! Hehehehe ^-^  
  
Dedicated to Sevrin. ENJOY MUCH!!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.  
  
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Chapter One: Was it just a dream?  
  
  
Severus Snape sighed and was deep in thought. His mask of hatred fell and his true self fell into place. A fire was lit in his cozy room. He sat on the couch starring at a book he was currently reading. He had been reading it until he became into deep thought when a line was read. The line was:  
  
Private lessons, in any subject, are much easier when the two have a bond. Being closer and trusting each other allows the lessons to run smoother and faster and easier.  
  
Severus blinked at this line, this would especially be hard with him and Harry Potter. Indeed it would be hard, Snape didn't even want to get any closer with *anyone*, let alone Harry Potter. Damn the boy. He *always* had to mess with him. 'This is for Dumbledore.' He reassured himself, and he told himself, again, that it was for the better. He did not hate the boy, but he just got so annoying. Knowing he was more spoiled than anyone or anything also had an impact on his opinion of the boy. He did feel sorry for the boy, Potter didn't have a Father or a Mother. The Dursleys spoiled the Hell out of the boy, they had to have, the air and confidence Potter had around his friends could only tell that story so. (boy is he wrong) Snape had to teach this Potter kid lessons, damn everything to Hell.   
  
Severus started thinking though, this request Albus had givin him would be a challenge. Perhaps the biggest challenge in his adult life….to get along with Potter.   
  
'Suppose I should call him Harry, to show him some respect….nah. Who cares about that. This detest I feel for this kid makes this challenge sickening, but a challenge is nonetheless a challenge…I, Severus, will teach Potter DADA, so help me God, and please do so God.'  
  
With this new speculation on this assignment Snape was givin some form of hope, a rather small one, but still it was there. He could do this, it was only one day of every week in summer, and *every* day once school started up, but for now, one day…full of Potter. 'Potter-filled day….damn,' If he kept these thoughts as they were going, he would go more insane then he was already. Yes, he admitted, that he was somewhat eccentric, but he had a right to be, kids drove him mad. He had to wonder why he kept his job at Hogwarts.  
  
'Now, how to inform Potter, to his dismay, I will be teaching this summer.' Snape couldn't help but grin at the attempt to be making Harry feel discomfort for the whole summer. 'Hah! Maybe this won't be as bad as I thought. Ah now to write the letter.'  
  
Mr. Harry Potter,  
I have been informed by Albus Dumbledore, that I shall be teaching you Denfense Against the Dark Arts once a day each week in private. I do not care if you have any objections on this matter, you will come to the lessons, and you will learn. The lessons start Thursday, I will meet you where you are. We will travel by Port key.   
  
Good-bye Potter,  
Potions Master, Severus Snape   
  
He rolled up the scroll, and smirked at the thought of Harry finding out, that he, Snape, would be teaching Potter lessons. He whistled for his owl, and watched Miss Bitters (hee hee, thanks for the suggestion of my sister, I am using Miss Bitters from Invader Zim, oh I do not own that name, don't think it's Miss Bitters delevering the mail) take up the scroll and scurry out the window, to deliver the message.  
  
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Harry growned. He felt very tired by the middle of the day. Everything seemed to call out to him. The couch, the bedrooms, to lie in the grass with the sun shining on him, even the hard carpet of the house seemed rather comfortable to just sleep on. Sleep… Oh the thought was so beautiful. He wanted to sleep so badly. Come to think of it, Harry had slept all last night. He slept early too, due to a stomache ache. So he had just laid down and fallen asleep during it. But, he had slept a very long time, so he should have felt great today.   
  
Harry slowed down, yawned and made his way to his bedroom. He was finally done with the chores for the afternoon. He just needed a little…sleep..  
  
As Harry was nearly out of it, a swift, dark brown owl, whom was very beautiful looking, soared into his bedroom, dropped of a letter and landed on his bed. Harry grogily grabbed the letter, opened it and read.   
  
Mr. Harry Potter,  
I have been informed by Albus Dumbledore, that I shall be teaching you Denfense Against the Dark Arts once a day each week in private. I do not care if you have any objections on this matter, you will come to the lessons, and you will learn. The lessons start Thursday, I will meet you where you are. We will travel by Port key.   
  
Good-bye Potter,  
Potions Master, Severus Snape   
  
  
'Oh, what a nice letter.' Harry thought sarcasticly. By the time he had finished, the owl that had come, took an owl treat and started its way back to Snape. Thinking about the lessons he would receive, Harry fell into a deep sleep.  
  
oO*Dream*Oo  
  
  
Harry limped around, he couldn't stand right, his ankle hurt too much. He limped downstairs and found the Durlseys sleeping. Dudley was on the floor, Vernon, on the couch, and Petunia was on a chair. They all seemed unaturally pale. He went closer to them and noticed Vernon's eyes wide open in fear and pain…  
  
"No…No! Oh gods, no!" Harry muttered, loosing his control of himself and attempting to bring the Dursleys back to life… But it was too late.  
  
The Durslys were dead.  
  
Harry turned around and the scene changed. Before him stood Albus Dumbledore, the man he would always respect and count on. He could go to Dumbledore for help.  
  
"Professor! Sir! Th- the Dursleys!-" Harry started, but Dumbledore just glared at him.  
  
"Harry," he said, "I always thought you were wise. I thought you were with the light. But no…I was wrong…I cannot believe it…your own relatives… It's a shame, it is a shame."  
  
This simply confused Harry and worried him as well. What had happened. The scene changed and there was good ol' Hagrid. He could talk to Hagrid. But to his dismay, Hagrid sat there, weeping into his hands. When he (Hagrid) looked up, he had fear, then anger.  
  
"You. You-you murrderer! 'Ou killed him! Me Fang!" Hagrid raged.  
  
oO*End Dream*Oo  
  
Harry awoke sweating and gasping. No, that could be true. No. It was simply a nightmare. He was just at the Dursleys, they were alive, and there was nothing wrong. "Just a dream…" he mumbled to himself. Nothing was going to happen like that, and he would be damned before he went to the Dark side. No, he'd kill himself before that. "Just a dream…" he muttered again.  
  
  
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Hope you all enjoyed. Sevrin, are ya happy? ::smiles:: hehehehe ? I had fun! Thanks to my sister, she gave me a few suggestions, including the "Miss Bitters"!! hehehe that rocks! Anywho, thanks for reading, please review.  
  
~~~*Review Mention*~~~  
  
LegacyLady: Aw wow thanks, and it's my pleasure! Hehe! There ya go!  
  
Sevrin: Yes I did dedicate it to YOU! Hehe! My pleasure! Hehe! Glad you like/love! ::squeals:: ::smiles big:: Hehe so you have 1000 words already done? WELL POST PLEASE! I love your fic!! Aww and guess what!? Your flying platypi are doing their job! Wohoo! Hope this was longer, I'm gunna make it longer yet in the next chapter, I just needed to end this there. I'm tired too it's 2:31 in the mourning, so I get sleep soon!!! Aw I'm glad I placed the characters right! ::smiles:: well hope you've enjoyed! (post more NOW of your fic!) ^^;;  
  
Chashire: Naw, I'm not kidding you! Hehe Sorry bout the short chapter! I like being cruel! Thanks so much!!  
  
Usagi Potter: OMG! Hahahaha! ::squeals:: AWW you think I'm sugoi!?!?! AWW! THAT'S SO NICE! Hehe I'm steph! Lol! Aw well I have an owl! Lol, hope that replaces the bunnies heheh! ^^;; ::squeals too:: EEEE!!! You think I'm KAWAII??!!?!!? You gotta be kidding me, that's such an honour!!! (but dang I don't know what Mufufu means…) Well Usa-chan, I'm Minako, You're cousin!!! Kawaiiness!! Hehehee! I'll be sure to add something bunny or SM related in here, but only small so pay attention! Hehehe ^^ thanks! ~Sailor V ^-^;;  
  
Elfwarrior: lol thank you! Hehe I like being cruel! Well there you go! Heheheh! ::smiles evily::  
  
atackofthejello: THANKS! I lvoe Linkin Park, before I rea your fic, I was working on a song fic with a lot of LP songs. Hehehe, I'm so sad! Thanks lots! ^^;;  
  
  
  
Well guys I hope you've enjoyed, please review, and see ya later, it's sleepy time for me, it's 2:42. Dear merlin, it took me that long to write that little!??!! Sorry, well see you later!  
  
Sending my love out with a wink,   
^_~,  
Love, love  
~Steph 


	3. Chapter Two: Talking With Dudley

Hey Guys, I'm back! Yup, yup, yup! Hehehe! I'm happy too! Mmhmm! ::shouts:: SEVRIN, GET YOUR NEXT CHAPTER OUT!!! NOW!!! ::smiles innocently:: heheheh! But take your time too! But I mean 8000 words for ONE chapter?!?! That's crazy! Wow! I'll be on a writing spree when I finish reading that chapter! Wohoo! Anyway, as usual, I'm listening to Linkin Park, gods I love them! Attackofthejello, you rule! LP is awesome and anyone who agrees to that just rules! YEAH! Let's get started, shall we? ::smiles::  
  
Dedication: for Sevrin, ENJOY! Hope it's good!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, lalala! ^^;; I'm so happy! Hehehe  
  
::sips her coffee before beginning:: Mmmhmm, that's the good stuff! Hehehe! ::squeals:: OMG I'm so hyper! ::sqeals:: EEEEE!!!!! =^.^ =   
  
(Warning: I am a big fan of beating up Harry, then snape saving him… if I over due it cause of my hyperness I am sorry. Infact, I am trying NOT to do that so much in this story. Though in my other stories he get's injured. Indeed, in this one it will happen, but not just yet. And this story has a twist. It's different than the beat-Harry-up stories…well…sorta. You'll just have to read to fine out.) ::evil grin:: Mwahaha!  
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Chapter Two: Talking with Dudley  
  
  
Today was Wednesday. Tomarrow would be the dreaded day with Snape. Harry had managed to calm down after his dream. But that was always burning in his memory, like an infected cut that would never stop bothering him. He took a cold shower that felt so good in the early morning. After being so shaken up, the shower had greatly helped him.   
  
Harry looked in the mirror to see a fragile boy, who was very pale. Harry took the cause being from his nightmare last night. That was it, he had told himself firmly. He went downstairs, for it was getting time for him to make breakfast already. He decided not to get the Dursleys mad today and simply get a head start. He had learned to make breakfast so fast anymore. It was simple. He could do it with his eyes closed. Soon the three other family members were down and sitting, waiting for their breakfast to be served. This year, Dudley wasn't quite off his diet yet, but was allowed to eat a little more than they had last year, and have a real breakfast. The breakfast contained of no bacon, sasage, or other greasy, fattening foods. Dudley seemed in the happy mood this year. Nobody seemed to know why. Harry finished searving and sat down to eat his own breakfast. Toast, a pancake (adults got two pancakes), and some orange juice.   
  
"Aunt Petunia, what do you want done today?" asked Harry. He was in a happier mood from the compliment that Dudley gave Harry on the breakfast. (hehe, sorry, you'll see why.)  
  
"Here." She said in a monotone voice, handing Harry a list of chores. Suprisingly, it wasn't near as long as usual. Whoa, indeed today was starting off good.   
  
  
The day went on suprisingly well. Harry was outside, weeding the garden, when Dudley came outside humming a Muggle song. "Hey, Harry." He said smiling.  
  
"Uh…hi."  
  
"What's wrong."  
  
"Uh, nothing. Just wondering something." Harry said raising his eyebrows, something *had* to be up.  
  
"Wondering exactly what?" Dudley said, not rude, but more like…concern?  
  
"I was just thinking of a reason of why you're so happy lately. And I can't think of it." Harry said pulling out more weeds.  
  
Dudley laughed. "Oh, that's all? Well, Harry, to be honest, I'm so happy that I'm getting some weight off. I never liked being fat, you know. And this silly diet is working. At the beginning I couldn't stand it. But now… I'm just happy about it."  
  
Harry blinked. "Wow, well I'm happy for you too. I mean," Harry stopped and sneezed then moaned.  
  
"Are you alright?"  
  
"Uh… Yeah I am. Just some pollen bothering me, that's all. Plus this bloody headache. Stupid sun…"  
  
"Oh, yeah, I know what you mean. Bloody hot day, today. Can cause them nasty headaches that don't go away until you lay down inside."  
  
"Dudley! Don't say such things, you're gunna make me get all moanish!" Harry laughed… Then he thought, was he kidding around with his cousin, the boy that hated him for years, and beat him up? Without warning, a flash of the dream he had last ngiht met his mind.   
  
Dudley could tell Harry was just thinking about something horrible. Harry had gone from smiling (which was very rare on Harry's face at the Dursleys) to frowning and guilt heavy in his eyes. "Harry… Are you okay?"  
  
Harry was snapped out of his thoughts from Dudley's concern. "Wha-…Oh …yeah ...Peachy." He said sarcasticly… That suddenly reminded him of…  
  
"Oh shit!" he said slapping his forehead, "I forgot! Snape is comming tomorrow! Bloody hell, Dudley, do you know what this means?"  
  
Dudley was terribley confused now. "Uh… No. Who's Snape?"  
  
"Only the worst, bloody, Potions teacher that hates me for no reason! And I can't help hating him. And he's suppose to give *me* Defence Against Dark Art lessons in private! Oh, Merlin, this is going to be horrid! Oh gods, I must owl Ron and Hermione of this!" Harry suddenly blinked. "Uh, I'm sorry, Dudley, I really shouldn't talk about my freakish life. Espcially when you don't understand a bit of it. I'm really sorry." Harry said looking down at the grass in shame. He started picking the weeds again.  
  
"That's just sad. Really, Harry, if you can't talk about your life to your own cousin, than that's just sad."  
  
"No, not at all. Because your parents don't like me--- er… I mean people like me. And they don't want me talking about that stuff." Harry didn't dare say magic.  
  
"Oh, that's so stupid! Harry, you're my cousin, and personally, I've been intrested in magic all my life, and my parents just block me off from it. And if you haven't noticed, I AM trying to talk to you about it all and you don't tell me about it. Well, how about this, I'll come into your room tonight, and we'll talk about it, since, if we talk in front of Mum and Dad, you know that won't go right. Deal?" Dudley asked holding his hand out for Harry to shake if the deal was accepted.  
  
Harry looked Dudley straight in the eye. Should he tell him about everything? What if they got caught? But if Dudley knew about everything, wouldn't it make everything easier? Or worse? Would Dudley tell Petunia and Vernon about Harry talking about magic? Was Dudley playing some kind of act to get Harry into trouble? Harry just didn't know if he should tell Dudley everything. It could go so wrong. But then again it could end up really good. Harry would have someone that suppoted him at home. Someone he could talk to… yet still the chances of it turning out wrong were high.  
  
Dudley could tell Harry was thinking about it. And from the looks of it, Harry had his doubts. "Please Harry. I promise it'll be okay. I won't freak. Please?"   
  
Dudley was begging. Harry hated that. "Fine. Just…oh man…" Harry rubbed his neck, he was getting a really bad headache. The sun burned on him, like fire on paper.  
  
"You alright?" Dudley asked once again.  
  
"Dudley, you think the garden is weeded enough, I want to lay down." Harry had to ask, the headache caused him not to be able to concentrate on the garden, and he needed a second opinion.  
  
"More than enough, it's great. Come on, let's get inside, you're giving *me* a headache!" Dudley said trying to lighten the mood.  
  
It worked, Harry gave a greatful smile and they walked inside the house that looked perfectly cleaned.  
  
  
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Later that night, Harry had walked inside his room to lay down, he *still* had that bloody headache. (Don't you know how it feels to have a headache all day? It sucks, believe me I know.) He grabbed a quill and his Potions book, with a load of parchment paper. He had the feeling that he should work on his Potions homework or else Snape would give him more homework.   
  
Hedwig sat in her cage impatciently waiting for the night to be let out. She hooted at Harry. Harry looked at her. The look she gave him, he knew my now, meant she was irritated. "Sorry, girl. I have nothing for you to deliver." Harry continues on his homework.  
  
Just then a knock at the door startled him out of his concentration. "Yes?" he called.  
  
"Harry, can I come in?" Dudley asked through the door.  
  
"Sure."  
  
Dudley walked in to find a large book placed on Harry's legs, who was on the bed, a quill in his hand, and a lot of paper placed against the book. "What are you doing?"  
  
"Ah, some Potions homework. Figure if Snape's going to come tomorrow, he'll want me to have my homework done or close to finished, or else he most likely would give me more or it. Not that three feet's not enough." Harry said irritably.  
  
"Three feet?"  
  
"Of parechment paper." Harry said lifting up the paper.  
  
Dudley's eyes widend. "What!? A yard of paper for homework!? Lordy, lordy, lordy, that's a lot of homework!"  
  
"Yeah, and Snape's the only professor *nice* enough to give that much. Heck, even Hermione was bothered by that much." Harry said sighing.   
  
"Is Hermione your girlfriend?" Dudley asked casually.  
  
Harry laughed, then laughed some more thinking of the situation with her, Ron, and Victor Krum. "Oh, not at all. She's just one of my best friends. Ron, my other best friend, fansy's her, and she was going out with this famous guy named Victor Krum. Now, Ron loved the guy before he and Hermione were dating, and now he dispises him. It's rather funny, really. It was last year during the…" Harry's smile faded and a frown, with dark eyes came upon his face, "during the TriWizard Tournament." Saying this, Harry looked away, then back down to his Potions homework.  
  
Dudley knew not to ask about this'TriWizard Tournament' just yet. Harry would get there when he told his story of his life and of magic. Indeed, he was intrested though. Something had happened. He knew it when Harry had come home. It was said in his eyes. Without words, it was clear, something dreadful had happened, and part of Harry had died then. Dudley wanted to know everything, yet at the same time, not hurt his cousin.   
  
"Do you want to know everything, from the beginning?" Harry asked still starring at his homework.  
  
"Accually, yes. I really wasn't paying attention when the giant told you that story. Then I was simply intrested in magic, but dearly fightened of it and it's possibilities. So I never bothered asking. I mean if my mum and dad were so against it, it *had* to be bad, right?" Dudley explained.  
  
"Alright, I got where you're coming from." And Harry began his story.  
  
"I was only one year old. I lived with my parents. They were well known and powerful, so says many people at least. Voldemort, or "You-Know-Who" as people call him because they're too frightened to say his name, was the most powerful dark wizard, and he was on the rage. It was Halloween, and he had gotten news from someone, you'll know who soon enough during my story, of where my parents and I lived. So he came and used the killing curse on both my parents. Of course my dad tried fighting while my mother tried protecting me, but it was no use. They both died. Then Voldemort saw me, he turned to use the killing curse on me, but it backfired on him, and he was claimed either dead, or hiding powerless. People never knew exactly what had happened, but they knew I survived the killing curse with a mere scar. And I am the only one who survived it. Thus, I am the famouse boy, Harry Potter, The-Boy-Who-Lived. And dammit, I hate it!" Harry continued on in his story, while Dudley was amazed at his life, and how it all happened. Harry stopped at one point, yawning. He had just finished telling about Sirius and Lupin, and the third year. Before he could go on into his fourth year, the most dreadful, he called it quits for the night. It wasn't easy telling Dudley of the horrid times, or the close calls that risked his life.  
  
"'Night, Harry, and thanks." Dudley said, opening the door.  
  
"Sure. Night."  
  
And with that, the two teenagers went to sleep. One boy's sleep was peaceful, and the other's would be haunted by Cedric's death. Cedric, indeed, tried comforting him, but Harry had felt guilty for the death of the Hufflepuff.   
  
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Hell ya! 2,421 words! YEAH! That's so much better than last time! ::smiles:: and I wrote it so fast! WEE!! Hehehe! Now I desperatly gotta work on Ankha's story! So much writing! I LOVE IT! I enjoyed writing this chapter, it was fun! I like the idea of Harry and Dudley bonding. I don't think Dudley should be a Squib though… Just family bonding. Hehe! ^-^ SEVRIN I HOPE YOU ENJOYED! (now get writing! And POSTING) heheh ^_~  
  
~~~*Review Mention*~~~  
  
LegacyLady: Yay! I'm glad I didn't disappoint you! ::smiles:: Hehe not too much happened in this story, but if you pay attention, you might have noticed a little foreshadowing (again). Hehe! ^_~  
  
Sevrin: did you read the AN at the top? Go read them! Hehe I'm glad your happy! Happy happy, joy, joy! Hehe I love that song! Ehheehhehehehye ^^ ::squeals:: EEE!!! Hehe Portkey is a bad idea, bad snape! Hehehe ^^;; I'm glad I inspired you! That's gotta be the reasoning why I added another chapter so quickly! Right? Hehehe ^-^ I enjoyed writing that chapter! It was fun to make Dudley not so…. Yeah.. you get the picture. JEEZ!!! 8000 word!?!?! This is only thin the 2000 words! Man I can't wait for that chapter! So far no flames, but the last chapter got 2 reveiws, not that much, huh? Oh well, I still write more! ^_~ hehehe! I would prolly be writing more but my bro wants on. GRR!! Hehehe ^_^ oh well! Hope you've enjoyed!  
  
  
  
Please review! Thanks for reading so much! Hope you've enjoyed!  
  
Sending my love out with a wink,  
^_~,  
love, love  
~Steph 


	4. Chapter Three: The First Lesson

Hia guys, back here! Never thought it was possible to post this story so fast without posting my other stories. It's a shame. I hope I do post more of the others soon enough though. Well here we go!   
  
Dedicated to Sevrin   
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.   
  
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Chapter Three: The First Lesson   
  
Once again, not surprisingly, Harry woke early due to his nightmare. As it was, Cedric tried to comfort Harry, saying that his death was *not* Harry's fault. However, Harry did not accept this. After all, it was him who kept on insisting to grab the cup, wasn't it? Harry quickly took a shower. He found that it was best taking them right in the morning because he woke up with a layer of sweat. He went downstairs and began breakfast.   
  
The Dursley's came down, Vernon in a bad mood, muttered something like "I wake up too early from the smell of this crap and I don't even get my morning coffee!" Petunia simply yawned and brewed the coffee that Vernon was so upset not to have. Harry noted that whenever he made an early breakfast to make coffee as well. Once again, he did as many chores as he could before he remembered that Snape was coming and he had not told the Dursleys!   
  
By this time it was around 2 o'clock, and knowing Snape, he'd pick a nice busy hour like that to come. Harry dashed to find his aunt and in an almost panicked voice, he said, "Aunt Petunia, my professor is coming here to pick me up today. I will be back later today though."   
  
She shrieked at this. "Ah! Not another of them freaks! Not after what they did last year!"   
  
"I'm sorry, I didn't know I just found out, and he says he's coming no matter what! And he's my professor, he's going to come. I'm sorry!"   
  
Petunia paled and simply pointed upstairs, to his room. He nodded and left for his room. There he sat working on his homework. He remembered then… they would be traveling by Portkey. No, not so soon after the Tournament. Was Snape mad!? Honestly, he didn't even think for a second! To think, the fool was even a Death Eater turned-spy! Surely the foul man would have *some* decency in him! "No," Harry supposes, "probably not."   
  
Fortunately for Harry, a knock at his door disrupted his flow of thoughts, and Dudley walked in. He brought his hand up, then put it back down, as in form of a greeting.   
  
"Hey, Harry, isn't your professor suppose to be here?" Dudley asked.   
  
"Yeah, he should be coming soon. He didn't tell me the time he'd be here, but he'll probably be here soon."   
  
And as if on cue, the doorbell rang. Harry sighed loudly. Here it was. And like Hagrid said, what come would come, and he would have to meet it when it did. He got up, the two boys leaving the room, said goodbye to Dudley, then walked towards Snape, who stood in the hallway, waiting for Harry, tapping his foot, as if Harry was taking forever.   
  
"Hello, sir, what do I need?"   
  
"Only your wand, I will supply parchment and quills."   
  
"Okay, sir, but I have to get my wand… Er…it's locked up in a cupboard."   
  
Snape sighed impatiently then growled, "Then go get it!"   
  
"Yes, sir," Harry walked away to get his uncle. He told his uncle that he needed his wand and the beefy man grew purple.   
  
"YOU DARE EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THIS FOOLISHNESS!? I KNOW YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO USE MAGIC OUT OF THAT BLOODY SCHOOL OF YOURS!"   
  
  
Severus Snape waited calmly, though he wanted to hurry to get away from these blasted Muggles. The second he knocked on the door, he was unwelcome. Plenty of Muggles were very decent, but these Muggles were horrid! The boy had his wand locked? That's odd, considering that he couldn't even use it during the summer, so what did these Muggles fear then? 'A rebellious wizard that was going to use magic and get kicked out of school and go to Azkaban, I think not! This is the oh-so popular Boy-Who-Lived! He's not going to betray his fans for magical use in the summer.' Snape thought, one eye twitching.   
  
At that very instant when he finished that thought, a loud holler was heard.   
  
"YOU DARE EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THIS FOOLISHNESS!? I KNOW YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO USE MAGIC OUT OF THAT BLOODY SCHOOL OF YOURS!"   
  
Snape sighed. He bet that Harry always bothered these Muggles that spoiled him. And that the request for his wand threw off the large man. Most likely, indeed. Severus walked into the living room and looked at the large purple man. He didn't notice the large red mark on Harry's face from being slapped. "I assure you, he needs his wand. And that where I am taking him, he is allowed to use it." He kept it simple, but without room for argument.   
  
"Fine then, let me go get the key."   
  
This had confused Harry immensely. First, Vernon wouldn't just let him be stomped over like that, and second; he always kept the cupboard key in his pocket. Harry paled. Something was not right.   
  
"Er…Sir, wouldn't it be quicker if you just magically unlocked the door? I mean it's already kind of late and all…" Harry trailed off. He felt the sickening feeling like something terrible was about to happen.   
  
"Yes, Potter, for once in your life, you are correct." It wouldn't have been so bad if he just left it off at 'you are correct' or even just 'yes'. But, no, that wouldn't be Snape-ish of him, now would it?   
  
Snape noticed how Harry was unnerved. He noticed that the boy had paled, and that he sincerely wanted to get out of the place at the time. However, he did not say anything about it. The boy walked rather fast to the cupboard, and said that it was locked there. Snape unlocked it and found it to be a broom closet, not full of just Muggle things, but with Harry's trunk. He noticed when Potter opened it that there were no books, quills, or parchment. But everything else, including the blasted invisibility cloak was in there. (Severus did not see the map though, it was in the pockets of the invisibility cloak.) Potter quickly grabbed his wand, which was in need of a cleaning, and snapped shut his trunk, closed the door, and clicked the lock so it was now, once again locked.   
  
"Alright, sir, I'm ready," Harry said, wanting to leave before his huge uncle got back. His ears perked up and he heard a lot of shuffling around in the other room. He paled once again, thinking of what the madman might be trying to find. He hoped in a serious manner, that it was not the old shotgun.   
  
"Come on, Potter! We don't have all day!" Snape barked, snapping Harry out of his thoughts. Harry realized the man was standing there, his wand floating an odd object that would be the Portkey.   
  
Harry knew that if Snape had simply held out the strange…thing, that Snape would instantly be where they were to go. That's what a Portkey did. Harry got light headed at the thought of using a Portkey. The last time he had used one was while…   
  
"Potter!" Snape said, grabbing Harry's hand and putting it on the object with his own.   
  
Then it came. That odd feeling of being tugged then falling… Harry hated this feeling now. Just the though of it made him sick. Not sick as in disgusted, but more ill… With a slam, he hit the ground. He fell to his knees. Not because of the slam, but because he was dizzy and light headed from thinking about *him.* About the young man who died and should have lived. Thinking about the guy that comforted him in his dreams or at least tried to. Of how he, Harry, suggested Cedric to end his life. Or that was how it seemed. When Harry continued to insist that Cedric and him grab the trophy at the same time, Cedric had been killed, thus, it being Harry's fault. It made sense. That trophy…it was the Portkey. He killed Cedric Diggory, the Quidditch playing, Perfect student, and great person. And Harry had cut this wonderful life short. It was his fault. Not Voldemort's, nor even Wormtail's, only Harry's fault, for if it were not for him…   
  
"Potter! I suggest we master the key of Portkey traveling. Or is that too much?" Snape sneered, but mentally frowned at the vision before him. The-Boy-Who-Lived lay in a feeble position, vomit was in front of him, his eyes glazed over in deep thought, and so much, too much, guilt were also in his eyes. The stupid boy had to lose control over using the Portkey.   
  
Somehow, Snape had already known something like this would happen. He knew that this would truly be the first lesson. He spoke softly, but not all kindly, "Not all things from the past are the same in the future. It is one thing to remember an experience and make a lesson from it. And it is an entirely other thing to remember one thing and fear it will happen again and again, forever."   
  
Harry constantly apologized to Snape about throwing up. Snape simply glared, said it not to happen again, and let a house elf clean the mess up. As nasty as vomit was, the house elf was very happy to do so.   
  
"Alright, Potter. The first lesson will be changed. As I knew somehow that you would have a reaction to the Portkey, I had already made lesson plans for this. Conquering the past. It is the first thing that must happen. It is extremely hard, but if not done, anyone could use it against you, simply by mentioning it. It is almost like blackmail. So, indeed it is very important. You reacted to the Portkey by vomit and depressing thoughts, I assume. The reasoning for setting these actions off is most likely very personal. I do not intrude on other's privacy, as long as they do not intrude on me. That is what I am about, Mister Potter. So, I will simply tell you this. You are wrong. Whatever you think that's making you go off like this is wrong. If what you were thinking, would be correct in any manor, you simply wouldn't react so…extreme. Now I must tell you this, conquering the past will take plenty of time, and even when you think you did it, it'll never ever be completely gone. So why am I teaching you this? Simply this reason. People can use any weakness you have against you, and fear, guilt, doubt, they are the most effective ways. It is used in Dark Arts constantly, to lure people into their traps; their grasps. Simply telling yourself that it wasn't the way you've always been thinking will not work. You must believe that you are innocent, that what you used to believe isn't true. You must believe the opposite of what you do now."   
  
Harry stood gaping at the man. He was very wise, indeed. During this whole time, Snape had not talked fiercely, but calmly, and he had converted the Portkey back to a regular object and started fiddling with it. Not staring into Harry's eyes, the cold way he did. Snape looked up, placed the object down, and waited.   
  
"Thank you, sir." Harry said after a few seconds.   
  
"You should not be thankful until you have actually accomplished this task, then I would have really taught you it. I simply directed you." He said, trying to get through to Harry's head to NOT blame himself for everything bad that happened to people.   
  
"Er… Thank you for telling me then, sir. It's helpful and I will try." Harry said, in a way he was sort of uncomfortable now. Had Snape been the cold, greasy git, he'd most likely be more comfortable.   
  
"Second lesson now. What are you ready for, for I will not teach something you are not ready for and may end up getting injured. Though, most likely you'll end up injured anyway" Ah! That was more the Snape he knew! Insult him; go ahead! Harry almost smiled at this. Almost…   
  
Snape handed Harry a paper full of the lessons he planned on teaching. It seemed endless. Harry recognized a few. There was the Patronus and fighting Imperio, both that Harry was decent at. He told this to Snape, and Snape smiled, not the proud smile, but an evil grin.   
  
"Then let's test them, shall we?"   
  
"Er…okay. He wasn't ready to hear his parents' screams again… but he had to.   
  
"The dementors have joined Voldemort, Potter, so you should develop from decent to perfect. It's a must that I will teach you. And Imperio seems to be one of Voldemorts favorite spells. You *need* both perfected. I do not have a dementor right now, but it seems I don't need it. Remus Lupin says a boggart works fine. But that was years ago, and fear changes quickly. I will test the boggart on you eventually though. It's not a must, but it's good to perfect. Though it is a very easy one at that, and it should already be perfected. Now, IMPERIO!"   
  
Harry was shocked at no warning and was hit hard and strong with the Unforgivable Curse.   
  
/Stand on your hands, then backflip onto the desk./ His head said very firmly.   
  
# I don't think I want to. Besides, it seems dumb, and I'll look stupid. #   
  
/Stand on your hands./   
  
# I don't honestly feel like it. Why should I? I have no reason. #   
  
/STAND ON YOUR HANDS!/   
  
Harry held himself back; he was struggling. It hurt so bad to not do something that he was being forced to do. It hurt to go against. His back started curving to bend down and stand on his hands.   
  
# NO! I don't want to! I don't want to! I don't want to! #   
  
Suddenly, when Harry seemed to gain control, the spell was put on very strong. Not just very strong, it was stronger than Voldemort's. Pain etched throughout his entire body.   
  
/ STAND ON YOUR HANDS! YOU WANT TO STAND ON YOUR HANDS! END THE PAIN! STAND ON YOUR HANDS!/   
  
And all the while, Harry's mind, or of what he controlled kept thinking # I do NOT want to! I DON'T WANT TO!#   
  
But then, the words, end the pain, seemed to make sense, and he still didn't want to stand on his hands. But those words…too strong.   
  
Harry jumped onto his hands then quickly fell down, smashing his face hard, ending up with a broken nose and two sprained wrists.   
  
"Ouch…" Harry mumbled, not bothering to get up, but just continued lying there.   
  
Snape muttered a few well-chosen words and most of the pain was gone and wrists healed. Snape sighed, knowing he'd have to fix Potter up. He looked through some cabinets that were filled with already made potions. He pulled out three potions and walked back over. "Sit up." Harry obeyed simply wanting to get this done. "Drink this, it's to stop any more pain. Then drink this, it's to mend your bones, and finally, this one, to keep them strong."   
  
"Thanks." Harry said after drinking the nasty tasting potions.   
  
"You fight the weak Imperio perfect, the stronger Imperio very good, and the stronger than that, you fought it and failed. And the strongest I didn't get to, but you would have given out immediately." Snape said not complementing, nor insulting. Just saying the facts.   
  
"Errr…" was all Harry could really say. "How can there be more than one version of Imperio?"   
  
"Simple. The amount of emphasis and the amount of strength a person uses in the incant. That's why it's forbidden, because it can be quite a horrid spell if used to the full extent in Dark Arts."   
  
"Oh. Okay… How come Voldemort didn't use a full Imperio curse on me?"   
  
"That's Voldemort's mind. If he is seen to be weak and cannot control a mere boy under a low-powered Imperio and is forced to use a higher-powered one, the Death Eaters would think less of him. So it's simply his pride." Snape said, with not a very pleasant face, having to think about Voldemort using the Imperio on Muggles, Wizards, Witches, Muggle-born, it wasn't right.   
  
"Mood- err…Crouch didn't teach us about levels of the Imperio. Do you know why?"   
  
"He was using the spell on the real Moody, and if he spoke about the higher levels, people might suspect him of using it, and he did not want that. That's most likely the reasoning."   
  
"Hmm… okay."   
  
The two were in silence for awhile and then Snape spoke up. "It's time for you to go back. We'll meet here every Thursday at 3:00. They end at 8:00, tell your relatives so they can expect me, and expect what time you should be home."   
  
"It's been fice hours already!?" Harry said, very shocked.   
  
"No, not at all, only two and a half. I have to stop it short today. I have a meeting to attend at Hogwarts. But I do not look forward to five hours with you."   
  
"What, do I care what you look forward to?!"   
  
"Which is why I ask, why, exactly, did you want these lessons. The headmaster tells me to ask you why these lessons were planned."   
  
"Simple. I am expected to defeat Voldemort and I am only fifteen. Do you really think I'd survive long? And it's not like I can stop him from attacking me. Last year all it took was a trophy!"   
  
"I see, you are dismissed. I've turned this back into a Portkey."   
  
They both touched the object and went to the Dursleys. There, Snape simply said, "I will see you Thursday, be prepared next time. I will not be babying you as I've seen others do." And he touched the Portkey and was gone.   
  
Harry, on the other hand, rushed upstairs and into the bathroom. There he once again, vomited, only into the toilet, instead of on the ground.   
  
Harry went inside his room to sleep and end the eventful day. He could rest now. But was disrupted by Dudley again this night.   
  
"Harry, can you finish telling about your fourth year?"   
  
Harry definitely did not want this tonight and said he would tell it some other day. Some other time. The fourth year held too much that Harry did not want to relive. He didn't tell that last thought to Dudley though. He bid Dudley goodnight, and the chubby boy left.   
  
A simple thing Snape had said came back to his mind:   
  
"Not all things from the past are the same in the future. It is one thing to remember an experience and make a lesson from it. And it is an entirely other thing to remember one thing and fear it will happen again and again, forever."   
  
Those were wise words. And Snape had spoken them… That was the last thought that entered Harry's conscious mind, his eyes slowly closed, and he welcomed night's breath to carry him into a serene slumber.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Much thanks to my sister who helped me with the closing of the chapter!!!!! ::smiles:: ^^;; her penname is Serenity6456 she's big on anime (so am I) and writes it. My fav story of hers is the one she never updates, her Tenchi story, taken away. Thanks for the yummy cheesy macarooni!!! HEHE I cannot spell!   
  
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THANKS TO MY GREAT BETA-READER!!!!! Thanks so much didihoulio!!!!!! She rocks, go read her fic!  
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~~~*Review Mention*~~~   
  
Aurelius: There ya go, happy, I wrote more! EE!! ^^;;   
  
Cheshire: loved your enthusiasm!! Hehe Let's get riding in the Potter Mobile! Hehe Don't' worry about Dudley!   
  
Sevrin: Dudley-Harry bonding!!! ::squeals:: yes indeed! WOW you posted such a LOOOONNNNGGG awesome chapter! I hope Sevvie was not too OOC here. EEK! ::takes banana peal and tries to throw it in trash, misses and someone coming along falls over it:: SORRY! Sev came, I hope it was good! ::giddiness!:: very big fan of Harry torture! I only got a little bit in here, but you can expect more!!! Why thanks for the hoping! Hehe I wish the same on you! ^_~ Though you don't need that wish, cause it happened already! AHHH!! My sister wants on so I gtg, but I'll be back MWAHAHAAHAHA! I hope you enjoyed!   
  
I hope you all enjoyed, I'm done for now! I wrote a 3176 worded chapter, not including the A.N.s!! YAY! Please review, or I'll get Sevrin's flying platypi after you! MWAHHAHA! ^^;; hehe thanks for reading!   
  
Sending out my love with a wink!   
^_~,   
Love,  
~Steph 


	5. sorry AN: read

This is an apology for taking so freaking long that it's not even funny. I haven't been working on any of my chapters to any fics, or making any new ones. I got into poetry and making an online diary so I can leak my feelings out. Writing does help me leak my feelings out, but it's different when you use a character and not your own. I'm wanting to make a novel... With origional characters. I've kinda made up a story line in my head and a few characters. Not sure if I will post it or not. I prolly will. I kinda sunk into a bad case of depression. And side-effects of depression include losing intrest in things you use to like. I sorta couldn't read fanfics or write them, and well I'm trying to make myself better. So I'm going to write...for you guys. Cause your reveiws make me feel better. As for being depressed, well ::shrugs:: can't do much but complain. And when I complain, I turn into a virus and make everyone else upset. So ::shrugs:: I'll live. And one of my friends (besnaped) has been missing, and the one fic "Truth of Pain" was written while I was talking to her and all, so until I talk to her again, I'm not writing that. I know you guys are mad at me for never updating, but here's how I got so far:  
  
To Begin: three paragraphs and first AN are done. It won't be done for a while. So sorry! I really am!  
  
Last Ounce of Pain...Gone: three paragraphs too.  
  
Harry Potter and the Struggle of Darkness: what the hell, I can't even remember this fic.. Ah shit, I'm screwed, aren't I? ::goes and reads end of what I wrote:: ooh it's this one! Yeah, this is probably the one I have in my head what's going to happen the most, but I haven't started on it, so I'm sorry!  
  
Unexpected Changes: nothing because everything I was working on got deleted at some point.  
  
Harry Potter and the Forgotten Souls: I doubt I'll continue this. I don't know what I was thinking when I began it. Well actually I know what I had in mind, but it never came out the way I wanted it to.   
Guys, I'm really sorry about this. My brother at one point was deleting things and deleted *everything* one the computer. So that was a huge downfall. Well this is all I can do. Bye bye now  
  
Love and Luck  
~Steph 


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